Stage Door Ettiquette

Here is some valuable information for any stage door "groupies" ::shudder::. I hope this will come in handy to those of you who are dying to find out some of this information. If you've gone through this before and have some of your own suggestions, then please, by all means e-mail me!

Okay, scenario: You've just seen an amazing staged show with a few amazing actors that you might never have heard of before and now you're really excited so you'd like to go tell them how much you enjoyed yourself. How exactly do you go about doing this? Well, here are a few tips to help you have a good chat at the stage door.

Get yo ass to da stage door.
I don't expect you to magically know where the stage door is, that would be an unrealistic expectation! There are ways of finding out where the stage door is. If you can't figure out how to do that, please close this page right now.

You're at the stage door... now what?
Well, now is a good time to bust out your program and play theatre "Memory"... you did remember your program, didn't you? Well, if you didn't what are they going to autograph? Not your body parts! This isn't a Skid Row concert! Not even if Sebastian Bach is the lead in whatever show you just saw. Well, aquire a program. Look at the pictures, decide who you think is the easiest to identify out of those you'd like to talk to and try to find them. Try and figure out who had the most air brushing done. Just kidding. If you're having a lot of trouble on this one, ask a fellow stage door person or, ask some of the actors you can idenitfy. I mean, don't say, "Hi... were you in the show? Can you please help me find so-and-so? I wanted to tell them I enjoyed their performance." That's just rude to the actor you've pulled over to ask for help.

I'm at the stage door... no one else is here, it's not well-lit and it's silent... Mommy?
Alright, so you're in Denver, Colorado where they don't *go* to the stage door but you still wanna talk to these actors. Be aggressive. Smile, keep your head up, mayke eye contact, say hello to everyone who leaves the stage door, introduce yourself! If you're shy in this situation, I'm sorry, you're screwed unless the actor you're waiting to see is... an attention whore. Don't think all of the actors have enough of an ego to EXPECT you're waiting for them! Most of them will come out, look around for friendly faces and if they don't see any, they leave. So if one of them looks at you and smiles, smile back and approach them!

I'm at the stage door and it's like the pit at an N'SYNC concert.
Okay, take a deep breath and pray that you don't have social anxiety. The rules are completely different for you now. Hang to the rear, talk to your friends, wait for the crazy people to stop dry humping the stars, think of something to say other than, "That was amazing!" Was there a moment in the show that stood out to you? Talk to them about that. Did you love the piece? Did you hate it and just enjoy their performance? Either way, remember to be careful with your words (it's called TACT people, something I don't posess), sometimes comments that seem innocent can come across as rude so just... be careful.

I love this actor so much I'm going to explode.
That's nice dear.... Okay, being emotional has it's time and place. Many times, the stage door is not the place. I am the worst where this is concerned so I'm not expecting anyone else who is emotional to be able to do this but a big display is just not the way to go on this one. A lot of the time this frightens actors because they don't expect anyone to feel this way about their performance. If you think you're going to cry, try and just talk through it or excuse yourself and take a step back. This also applies to hysterical giggling and the like. It makes you look completely devoid of intellegence if you can't even speak.

One picture, one autograph.
Okay, have you seen the show 30 times and gotten a picture everytime? Why do you need another one? I mean, really guys. Same thing with autographs. If there are a few items you want signed, then by all means, bring them once, don't make it more than a few though. But don't ask for any autographs after that. If you want to spend some time with these actors at the stage door, don't monopolize them by being a huge fruit and demanding all of their attention to sign a program you'll probably lose in a week and take a picture that will stay on that roll of film until your vacation to the Bahamas in ten years. The actors who choose to go to the stage door don't have to. They have already done what you paid for them to do on stage and everything that happens at the stage door is just a bonus. It's their choice to go outside and hang out with everyone so don't treat them like cardboard cut outs. There are certain actors who are just going to act like cardboard cut outs because people don't want them to talk. If that's how they are, then fine, but don't force them into a position where they can't say no to you. It tags you as a "crazy fan". Trust me, this is not a good label to have on you. Truuuust me.

Use common sense.
Does this actor look exhausted? Have they mentioned they have to leave or that they have an early morning? LET THEM GO! Trust me, they'll remember you for it if you can usher them out of the insanity by suggesting to the group to just let the actor leave. What's more important? Getting pictures with this person or letting them get sleep/do work so they can perform just as well the next night. Really, it's just good manors to be polite to these people and pay attention. How would you feel if you just did something exhausting and someone was basically blocking you from getting to your car? Exactly. Keep that in mind folks.

"Everything I do is judged and they mostly get it wrong but oh well. 'Cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged and the woman who lives there can tell the truth from the stuff that they say. And she looks me in the eye and says would you prefer the easy way no, well o.k. then don't cry." - Ani Difranco, "Joyful Girl"